Be a Man

Be a man, they said. Work out at the gym.

Build some biceps. Build some shoulders. Build your chest.

Get some abs. Work your thighs. Show them off.

Be stronger than the other men. Impress the women.

Be muscular. Don’t be too muscular. Eat more. Eat less.

Gain weight. Lose weight. You’re too skinny. You’re too fat.

Get bigger; but not too big. You’re too short. Women like tall men.

You’re a growing boy. Eat your meat. Eat your vegetables.

You want to grow big and strong, don’t you?

Be a man, they said. Know what you want. Get what you want.

Be assertive. Be aggressive. Show them who’s boss.

Don’t be a bully. Don’t pull punches.

Don’t let anyone walk all over you. Don’t walk all over anyone.

Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others.

Don’t fight back. True strength is found in restraint.

Don’t back down. Don’t be weak. Stand your ground.

Be an alpha. Be superior. Be dominant. Women like men who are dominant.

Be kind. Be self-giving. Be sensitive. Don’t be too sensitive.

Don’t show your emotions. Don’t cry.

Men don’t cry. Crying is a sign of weakness.

Be emotionally intelligent. Understand your feelings.

Don’t get too emotional. Emotions cloud your judgment.

Emotions are sissy. Don’t be sissy.

Be a man, they said. Be confident. Make the first move.

Start a conversation. Carry a conversation.

Don’t hit on her. Ask her out. Don’t be creepy. Let yourself be known.

Be transparent. Be mysterious. Be authentic. Be the best version of yourself.

Be passionate. Be ambitious. Be smart and witty.

Be a good listener. Don’t try to fix her problems. Not everyone needs saving.

Be her savior, her knight in shining armor.

Be a good man. Be a bad boy. Be nice, but don’t be a nice guy.

Be caring. Don’t care so much. Don’t try too hard.

Be perfect. Be relatable. Be charismatic. Be vulnerable.

Play hard to get. Make her fall in love with you. Make her work for it.

Be pure. Be dirty. Save your virginity. Be sexually active.

Be experienced. Be the man of her dreams.

Be a man, they said. Play more sports. Read more books.

Be active. Sit still. Why can’t you behave as well as your sister?

Don’t sit like that; it’s sissy; it’s perverted; it’s uncivilized.

Don’t stand like that. Don’t slouch. Take up space. Be a leader.

Work hard. Be the breadwinner. You’ll make a good husband someday.

Be her provider. Be her protector. Be her lover. That’s a man’s job.

Be a businessman. Be a family man.

Don’t play games. Do something more worthwhile with your time.

Grow up. Work in your father’s company. Start your own company.

Get a job. Get a degree. Get a doctorate.

Don’t have so much free time. Don’t be too busy.

Don’t stay too long in the office. Don’t stay too long at home.

Be a handyman. Be creative. Just don’t be an artist,

Cuz they don’t make any money.

Just be a man, they said.

Yes, sir. Yes, ma’am. I’ll be a man.

I’ll work my body for its health and for my discipline,

for my body is a means, not an end unto itself.

I’ll be strong yet sensitive, firm yet not unkind,

Ambitious yet practical, assertive yet merciful.

I’ll have emotions under control,

Desires without neediness.

I’ll have confidence in my giving;

Even the giving of myself, for that is loving.

I’ll start the conversation and I’ll learn to carry it.

I’ll learn about you and you’ll learn about me.

I’ll read more books and make the most of my mind.

I’ll explore the world in which I reside.

I’ll be the one who provides for my family.

I’ll protect them and lead them and earn their love for me.

I won’t stay too long in the office; I won’t stay too long at home.

For my family needs a man, and my calling needs the called.

Yes, such a difficult task;

So much of me to ask.

Surely I can’t fulfill them all to be

Whom you want me to be.

Yet I choose to take this path, not for you or for society.

I choose this path because of who I am, and whom I’m meant to be.

I choose this responsibility, though the strength I may not have.

I choose to step up to the plate.

I choose to be a man.